i need to preface this entry with the following statement: i probably should not post this recipe. for starters, a friend spit the brownie out in to the garbage. more shockingly, this is a new, tentative friend. who hawks a new, tentative friend’s brownie in to the garbage!? this kid is lucky i find him oddly entertaining, or else i would have kicked him in the shins for disrespectin’.
usually, these brownies are great. but this particular time… i might have gotten a little crazy. when i am sad or upset, i bake. specifically, i bake brownies. even more specifically, i bake this particular vegan brownie recipe. it is a little crumbly at times, a little sticky to the bottomy at others, and you generally have to use a spoon to dig it out… but when you are having a life crisis, these are mere trivialities. all you want is a hunk of chocolatey bakedness in your mouth and stomach, and you want it that second. who cares what utensils make that possible.
this particular evening i was overcome with the crazytown feelings. i started chucking god-only-knows into my brownie mix bowl. there was a lot of “hell, this might work. if not, who cares! i will fight those who care!!” (although, apparently i didn’t! unless you count a flabbergasted mouth agape look of shock as fighting.) i found some almond extract.. i threw that in there. i found some vegan chocolate chips… i threw those in there. hell to the recipe. i was free wheelin’ it. i think it was at the almond extract that i went horribly awry. oh well, whatever… i ate those brownies regardless. no tossin’ my “brownies” for me. (har har) maybe the reason ntf (new tentative friend) threw his brownie out was because he tasted my sorrow? the soul and sadness i poured into those brownies were just too much for him to bear. wimp.
what you’ll need: 2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour, 2 cups white sugar, 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, 1 tsp baking powder, 1 tsp salt, 1 cup water, 1 cup vegetable oil, 1 tsp vanilla extract
(now to make this extra crazy version: 1 tsp (uh.. i think… i was flailing a bit) almond extract, a bunch of chocolate chips (maybe half the bag? more distraught dumping), a heap a pish-poshing and careless disregard for your kitchen counters/table)
1. preheat oven to 350 degrees f.
2. in a large bowl, dump in some flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt… then stir it up.
3. pour in water, oil, and vanilla. mix until well-blended.
4. wail a bit about the state of affairs in your life. now get crazy.
aha! the almond extract. vessel of crazy, and beacon of puke.
dump some of that in there.
5. now get even more crazy… throw in some chocolate chips. (make sure they are vegan, this is a vegan recipe after all. we don’t want to get tooooo crazy.)
wail a bit about how if these chocolate chips were m&ms, they would not have melted in your hand just now.
6. spread evenly in a 9×13 baking pan. more wailage… only have two 8×8 baking pans… this will have to suffice.
7. bake for 25-30 minutes until the top is no longer shiny. let cool for at least 10 minutes before cutting into squares (or scooping with a spoon?).
they really are incredibly easy to bake. just don’t put almond extract in there… bad decision on my part. i’ve used mint extract before and it was really yummy. i feel like i need other vegan brownie recipes though. so, calling all vegan brownie recipes! if you have a good one, please let me know! i’ll try to reign in the crazy. promise.