do i have to be furry and blue to be a cookie monster?

30 Jul

after a mildly reprimanding email from a friend, i have decided it is necessary to come back from my non-posting hiatus.  but heck, it is rough, by which i mean hot as hell, to bake in an un-air conditioned apartment with poor ventilation in the summer.  also, i’ve become painfully aware that my pants seem to be shrinking as of late… damn you sugary delectables.  so i have been trying not to tempt myself too much by leaving delicious treats on my kitchen table.  i have zero will power.  so anywho, last night when i decided it was time to put my will power to the test (“hmm… maybe i can control myself this time…”), j and i discussed:

j: “don’t do it.”

me: “j, i gotta. the public needs me. i’m receiving emails. emails!”

j: “you evil temptress!”

me: “have no fear, i shall make them non-vegan.  eggs and butter galore.  that will keep you at bay.”

alright, i might have taken some creative liberties on the conversation… but i’m sure she wanted to call me an evil temptress.  maybe i just want to be called an evil temptress.  it sounds so.. um.. dangerous.. sexy?  did i go there on a baking blog? really?  so, aaaannyways, here we have it.  the anti-j cookie! aka: a basic chocolate chip cookie.  i know it isn’t particularly creative of me to go with this old standard, but really, do you understand how much effort it would have been to go to the grocery store?  sheesh people.  i’m one lazy girl.  luckily there is a plethora of half bags of chocolate chips floating around my cupboards, or else we would have a chocolate chipless cookie instead.  what would that be… a sugar cookie?  maybe.  that would have been sad.  i find sugar cookies to be a little sad on a whole.  they are just a bit… boooring.  not like chocolate chip cookies.  which have chocolate chips. and are thus not boring.

on to the cookie: the not boring chocolate chip cookie.  this is a recipe from my lovely dorie greenspan baking book.  i love this book. i love dorie. i love her cookie.

what you’ll need: 2 cups all-purpose flour, 1 teaspoon salt (1 and 1/4 if you really like salt. and boy do i really like salt!), 3/4 teaspoon baking soda, 2 sticks unsalted butter (room temp), 1 cup sugar, 2/3 cup (packed) light brown sugar, 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract, 2 large eggs, 12 ounces bittersweet chocolate or 2 cups chocolate chips/chunks (or everything you have in the pantry if you are me. please note that we have duct taped the bags shut.  yeh, we are classy like that.)

1. center a rack in the oven and preheat to 375 degrees f. center rack before you preheat.  make fun all you want, but i can’t tell you how many times i’ve gone to stick stuff in and end up in a tizzy shouting, “gahhh blasted! thwarted by the 375 degree badly placed metal racks again!” so, after properly preparing yourself oven-wise… unlike me… line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. whisk together the flour, salt, and baking soda.

(i like how the lighting in the bottom left picture makes me look tan. hey, a girl can dream.)

3. with a mixer of some sort, beat the butter on medium speed for about 1 minute, until smooth.

but me… i am waaay too bad ass for a puny mixer.  it is all muscle here. i beat that butter into submission with nothing but a plastic spoon and brute strength!!

ha! it cried like a little butter baby!

4. now, once you are done getting your kicks beating up two innocent sticks of butter (i’m a monster), add the sugars and beat for another 2 minutes or so until it is well blended.

i love the look of packed brown sugar after it has splooted (actual word, look it up) into a bowl.

all mixed up and rarin’ to go.  at this point some wayward fingers began to attempt batter steals.  remember the grilling boys?  yeh, one of those frickin’ thieves came back for round two… cookie edition.  i whacked him away though.  fear not.  i was still feeling the butter beating madness.

5. beat in the vanilla.

6. add the eggs one at a time, beating for 1 minute after each egg goes in.

huh.  looks kinda gross… but in a good way… does that make any sense?

real quick: a brief pause in your regular blog programming… we need to discuss this:

annabelle: the chicken of the month.  in case you can’t read the type, annabelle is an acrobat.  she jumps from platform to platform like a trapeze artist.  there is concern that she might run away and join the circus. this. is. hilarious.  ahh pete and gerry’s organic eggs, you guys crack me up.

ok where were we…

7. reduce mixer to low (or if you are bad ass, slow down your macho stirring) and add the dry ingredients in 3 portions, mixing only until each is just incorporated.

8. mix in the chocolate. you can also throw in a cup of finely chopped walnuts or pecans if you are feeling crazy.  nic doesn’t do nuts/they weren’t in my pantry, so i opted out.

9. spoon the dough by slightly rounded tablespoonfuls onto the baking sheets.  leave about 2 inches between each blob.

10. bake cookies one sheet at a time (10-12 minutes) and rotate the sheet midway through.  pull the sheet out and allow the cookies to rest for a minute.  then transfer to racks to cool at room temp.

11. repeat with remaining dough, cooling the baking sheets between batches.

yay cookies!


now you may think this was an accident/the result of my not putting the instructed 2 inches between each cookie blob.. but really, i just wanted my cookies to come out looking like a sorry reenactment of pangaea.

the verdict: fantastic chocolate chip cookie recipe. dorie knows her stuff.  i heart them, my coworkers heart them, if j was eating dairy, i bet she would heart them.

word around the water cooler:

“just what the doctor ordered. so good!”

“i totally needed them. perfect!”

man, i love compliments.

4 Responses to “do i have to be furry and blue to be a cookie monster?”

  1. Michael July 30, 2008 at 4:29 pm #

    Ach! I left the house too soon!

  2. Amy July 30, 2008 at 8:12 pm #

    i win! i would never reprimand you 🙂 thank you for the new recipe, you made my day!

  3. J August 4, 2008 at 11:36 pm #

    You’re right, I would have loved them, I’m sure. Thanks for including Annabelle’s eggs in your recipe to help me resist your evil baking temptations.

  4. Maryanne August 16, 2008 at 4:55 pm #

    I made these and they were delicious.

    Yours were better though, what kind of magic goes on in that kitchen, kell?

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