chocolate amish friendship bundt cake bread stuff

10 days of labor and love. 10 days of mashing until my fingers bled. 10 days of smelling fermented yeast wafting about my bedroom. 10 days of begging strangers to take my future starter babies.  10 days of lead up to this… my creation! chocolate amish friendship bundt cake bread like thing..amajig.

i switched up the flavoring a bit from the “traditional” amish friendship bread, but the result turned out to be a big hit. my friendship-bread-fearing roommate even accepted it and said she would be willing to keep nasty festering baggies of yeast in our house if i promised to make the eventual cake/bread chocolate-flavored. heck, that’s something.

full instructions on how to make this delicious friendly treat are below.  i should add that it will probably help things if you rock out to frank turner as i did while baking this.  (i may or may not have a minor obsession with his music right now.  dear frank turner, if you are out there and happen to enjoy the odd baking blog, you should probably know that i love you and will feed you cake if you come to boston and jam in my kitchen. thanks a bundle. xoxo.)

the full process:

day 1: do nothing.

day 2: mash the bag

day 3: mash the bag

day 4: mash the bag

day 5: mash the bag

day 6: add 1 cup flour, 1 cup sugar, 1 cup milk. mash the bag.

day 7: mash the bag

day 8: mash the bag

day 9: mash the bag

day 10: do the following:

1. pour contents of bag into a non-metal bowl. (they are very big sticklers about not using anything metal when dealing with your yeast.) add 1/2 cups flour, 1 1/2 cups sugar, 1 1/2 cups milk. mix with a non-metal spoon.  (don’t even think about metal!! curses the day metal was created!! the amish hate metal!!)

i warn you now… it will be a mother effer to stir this stuff up… would you take a look at my poor non-metal spoon??

2. measure out 4 seperate batters of 1 cup each into 4 seperate ziplock 1-gallon baggies. this means you give a bag along with this recipe to 3 victims poor saps people who dont know any better friends and keep one for yourself.  (this way you get to bake bread every 10 days for the reeeest of your liiiiifeeee… or… i took all of mine to work, harrassed my coworkers incessently, and then eventually abandoned the starters with an untraceable note in the kitchen…)

3. baking the bread:

what you’ll need: 3 eggs, 1 cup canola oil, 1 cup sugar, 1/2 cup milk, 1/2 tsp hazelnut extract (in retrospect i probably should have bumped this up to a full tsp), 1 1/2 tsp baking powder, 1/2 tsp salt, 1 tsp vanilla, 2 cups flour, 2 small boxes instant chocolate pudding mix

- add these ingredients to the remaining batter in the bowl.

-grease up a bundt pan. i used crisco gooed up on a paper towel. let me tell you, paper towels are handy stuff, and coincidently, not metal, so the amish shouldn’t have a problem with it.

-sprinkle some sugar about in the bundt pan.  i thought this may add a nice little pazow to the bunt cake bread stuff… i didn’t really see anything exciting result from it… so your choice.

-pour the batter in bunt pan, and then sprinkle some more sugar on top (you know, if you feel like it). bake at 325 degrees f for about an hour.

(the recipe is usually used with 2 bread pans, but seeing as how i only have one, and it was late, and i was tired and whine whine complain complain… i decided to throw it all into a bundt pan and call it a day. since this “bread” tastes more cake-like anyways, it seemed an alright leap.)

 

also, in case you were wondering… it tastes just like friendship.

feeding your pet yeast

sorry for the lack of update yesterday.  this was due to the fact that i was too busy not laboring. i spent the majority of the day curled up reading the joy that is pride & prejudice & zombies.  mr. darcy + zombies??  honestly, what more could a girl ask for?  perhaps, a pet yeast…. which brings me to:

day 6: feed your yeast…

what you’ll need: 1 cup flour, 1 cup sugar, 1 cup milk

1. add ingredients to baggie.

2. mash the baggie.

(please note that it is much more difficult to photograph yourself mashing the bag, than it actually is to do so.)

now, as exciting as my daily updates have been… for the next couple of days, you will be mashing… and mashing… and mashing… for days 7, 8, and 9, in fact.  see you on day 10.

fb:d5

day 5: mash the bag

wow, bet you wouldn’t have guessed.  don’t worry, tomorrow it gets waaaay more interesting.  i’m sure you will all be waiting with bated breath.

 

fb: behind the plastic

day 4: mash the bag.

while mashing my bag with the utmost grace and efficiency, i got to wondering… what truly lies within the depths on my new little friend? i decided i needed to peel back the layers of plastic, and get at the truth and heart of my starter.  what’s really up with these mystical starter-birthing amish? how are they the only ones with this tasty secret?

and then i came across this on wikipedia: “there is no reason to think that the sweet, cinnamon-flavored bread has any connection to the amish people” …. wait, what?!

“according to elizabeth coblentz, a member of the old order amish and the author of the syndicated column “the amish cook”, true amish friendship bread is ‘just sourdough bread that is passed around to the sick and needy.’” ….. lies!  you can’t prove anything!

wikipedia!! how dare you crush me like this! 

i’ll be here with my fingers in my ears singing “la la la” if anyone needs me.

fb:d3

day 3: mash the bag

today i thought it would be a good idea to sniff the contents of my bag.  i kid you not, it burnt the hair out of my nostrils.  what on earth was i thinking? that was NOT a good idea. heed these words. just say no.  even if all the other kids are huffing their friendship bread starters, stay strong, don’t fall prey to the peer pressure. your olfactories will thank you.

all this is to say that, it is ok if you want to open your bag and release some of that air.  while it is fermenting, air/gas/some-such-thing will accumulate, puffing up your bag.  just when you let that air out, whatever you do, for heaven’s sake, do not sniff it.

friendship bread: day 2

day 2: mash your bag

as you can see, this is advanced stuff. there is a lot of work and concentration involved in order for you to properly nurture and love your friendship bread starter.  it’s a bit like having a pet… a boring, lazy pet… that just sits around, takes and takes and takes without giving back, and doesn’t love you in return.  kind of like a cat.

last night, while preparing for a dinner party with nic, i met the cutest, most loveable creature: a 5-month-old golden doodle puppy named lexi.  it was like cuddling a bouncy, licky mop. i instantaneously fell irrecovably and unconditionally in love. i also suddenly realized that my own pet (a bag of yeast…) was a poor subsitute.  i was washed in dismay as i realized i would never be loved by my starter, while this lady would have her own furry bff loving her face off.  but then i remembered, in 9 days… ill get to eat my pet. and what does this lady get?? love? cuddles? a living mop? please. i get a baked manifestation of friendship. totally better than the real thing. any.day.of.the.week.

sometimes friendship comes as bags of yeast

a long, long, long time ago… back when everyone wore bonnets and rode in horse-drawn carriages and creeped about through the dark by candle light… the amish created friendahip.  to this day, they are the only ones with the ancient, secret knowledge of how to create friendship.  seriously, that’s what this piece of paper in front of me says.  oh wait, maybe that was how to create a starter… the act of friendship, bread starter, same difference.   i might not be amish, but i’m pretty sure there is some yeast involved and some measure of love, and warm cuddly feelings mixed in.  but, heck, what do i know? 

today my lovely friend linden passed along this lovely little bundle of joy… my wee little yeastie beastie. as soon as this thing entered my office, the sweet, sweet smell of fermentation filled the air.  im not sure if you are familiar with the smell of fermenting yeast, but it aint a pleasant sort of smell.  that sweet, sweet i mentioned before?  yeh, total sarcasm. but anyways, despite going through several rounds of friendship bread (that’s what this is by the way, pretty sure i have failed to mention that thus far…) this time last year, and suffering the threats of my roommate, who claimed that she would defenestrate me out the kitchen window if i brought home anymore, i decided to unburden linden of one of her starters and once again go through the delightful joys of starter-rearing. 

for those of you who haven’t been given the gift of friendship bread starters, a little here’s-what’s-up: someone (presumably a friend) hands you a starter, you are to love and nurture and “feed” (egak) it for 10 days, then you divide the starter up into more little starter babies, add some ingredients (including pudding!) to a small portion, bake delicious bread (just oozing with the joys of friendship), and then pass along the extra starters to the next set of unwilling participants friends.  it is kind of like a chain letter in the form of gross smelling, oozing, potentially hundreds-of-years-old plastic yeast baggies.  mmmmm.  love it.

suprisingly, the bread actually does taste really yummy.  beginning today, we shall chronicle my brand new yeast baby’s 10 day life span. so here we go:

what you’ll need: friendship in yeast baggie form

day 1- step 1:  do nothing.

alright, whew, that was hard.  most likely the most difficult baking activity/step that i have ever encountered.

stay tuned for tomorrow….

cupcakes even your hips will love

this cupcake, this one, right here, to the right,  is magical. truly.  so low in calories and so low in effort.  really, a monkey could make this cupcake.  and then if that monkey, was say, on a diet, it would be so psyched to eat it. 

im currently in this “health kick,” which is partially to blame for my lapse in posting as of late (cough, this entire year).  it is extremely hard for me to keep tasty baked treats around my house without consuming them all in one sitting.  post-baking you can usually find me in the fetal position clutching my overgorged stomach damning (while simultaneously looooving) those horrible-amazing-i-hate-you-omg-i-want- some-noooow treats.  and it is the summer season after all, or at least some semblance of the summer season (curses new england!), which means heating my house up with an oven is not desirable.   basically the baking gods are against me. 

but then, while wallowing in self pity, i heard a rumor.  one that led me to believe that i just might be able to bake my cake, and by george, eat it guilt-free too…

and with that introduction… i bring you… the diet soda cupcake! ta daaaa! when my friend nic first told me about the infamous diet soda cake, i did not believe her for a second.  its true, i thought her a dirty, rotten liar.  this mythical cake seemed both delightful, and absolutely terrifying.  because the basic idea is this: take any box cake mix, dump in a bottle of diet soda, mix, bake, and bam… low cal cake.  shocking.  the diet soda threw me for an absolute loop. after discovering the recipe on a blog, i 1. apologized for thinking my friend a dirty, rotten liar, and 2. decided what the hey, ill give it a go.

diet soda cupcakes

(adapted from: gina’s weight watcher recipes)

 

what you’ll need:

1 dry box cake, any flavor

10 oz diet soda, any flavor

2 egg whites (prob don’t need, but i read that this will make the cake fluffier)

 

1. preheat oven according to box directions and line cupcake tins.

2. beat cake mix, diet soda and egg whites. fill cupcake tins until 2/3 full.

3. bake as directed on box, or until toothpick comes out clean when inserted.

4. once cool, i dusted them with some confectioner’s sugar.  unfortunately because it was hot and somewhat sticky out, the sugar melted and didn’t look nearly as beautiful 10 minutes later.  you can also top with fat free whipped cream as a tasty alternative.

and for you weight watcher fans in the audience, each cupcake is only about 2 points!  wooo!

 

one last pic to truly whet your whistle… 

another exciting note: this is non-dieters approved.  i managed to trick my friend lindsey (of picky eatings)’s husband into eating them  and he did not notice a thing out of place. i might even go so far as to say he thought they were delectable.

so, the verdict you ask?  eat. now. yum. sigh.

if you need me, i’ll be in the corner in the fetal position.

pie fest: part 1

there has been a trend in my postings as of late, mostly consisting of a stream of apologies for my absence, excuses for said absence, and then begging for forgiveness.  for your sake and my own, i will now issue a blanket statement for all future posts: erm, oops?

alright, now that that is settled, we shall get to the business at hand– pies.  now that it is april, these pies might be a little out of season.  that is because i baked them in november (please see blanket statement above).  but in the spirit of the new year (cough three and a half months ago), i’m going to try something new, instead of saying i’m late with this, i’m going to say that i am excessively early.  i might even take it a step further and make up some new motto for 2009, which would be something along the lines of “let’s break traditions and get a little crazy up in here.”  who says pumpkin pies have to be baked in the fall? we have these fancy things called grocery stores… and canned food… namely, canned pumpkin!  the sheer magic of out-of-season produce at your fingertips all year long!

so, i baked these pies (there will be another posting tomorrow) for pre-thanksgiving- a tradition/holiday my college friends and i started so that we could celebrate thanksgiving and gorge ourselves together before going our seperate ways to meet up with our families and gorge ourselves some more.  perhaps i shouldn’t be confessing that i am just now blogging something for thanksgiving and instead just pretend that i am kooky and really in to eating fall-themed pies in the spring (although, i’m not quite sure you can call april in new england spring. i am still wearing a plaid wool skirt for goodness sakes.)

alright, moving on to the pies… to start we must make the pie dough. i know, i’m fancy like that.  no pre-made doughs for me… at least this time.  i plead the fifth about what i use when i’m not blogging the experience.  this recipe comes from a williams-sonoma pie dough class i went to at some point in the past. the classes they give at their stores are nice and pretty informative, but unfortunately do not involve hands-on activities or samples. but they are free and potentially are taught by cute pastry chefs (like at the one i went to).

what you’ll need: 1 1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour, 1 tablespoon sugar, 1/4 teaspoon salt, 8 tablespoons (1 stick) cold unsalted butter, 3 tablespoons very cold water

1. stir together flour, sugar, and salt.

2. cut butter into 1/4 inch squares. the recipe i have says to use a pastry cutter or two knives and to cut the butter into the flour mixture until the texture resembles coarse corn meal with butter pieces no larger than small peas.  but when i went to this class, the pastry chef told us to smoosh the butter into flat squares, as you can see in the photo below, and then to just work the flour into those smooshed butter pieces.  this way the pastry will come out with buttery layers.  i’m sure the other way is just as effective, but i just get a kick out of smooshing my butter/using my hands in general.

3. add the water and mix with a fork just until the dough pulls together.

4. transfer the dough to a work surface (aka my kitchen table), and pat into a ball. please note that  this dough should be rolled out immediately for best results.

5. lightly flour the work surface, then flatten the disk with 6 to 8 gentle taps from your rolling pin. lift the dough and give it a quarter turn. lightly dust the top of the dough/the rolling pin as needed, then roll out into a round at least 12 inches in diameter and about 1/8 inch thick.

this makes enough dough for one 9-inch single-crust pie.

voila! a beautiful pie crust. and if you are like me, you must now practice intense self restraint to keep from muching on the edges of this dough.

now that we have our dough, we need our filling. this particular pie is pumpkin.  because how can you have pre-thanksgiving without pumpkin pie?  or to put this in this season’s context, how can you not be an awesome quirky-but-cool person without a nice mid-spring (cough still winter) pumpkin pie?

the pumpkin pie filling comes from william-sonoma as well.

what you’ll need: 1 1/4 cups firmly packed dark brown sugar, 1 tablespoon cornstarch, 1/2 tsp. salt, 1 1/2 tsp. ground cinnamin, 1/2 tsp. ground ginger, 1/4 tsp. freshly grated nutmeg, 1/8 tsp. ground cloves, 2 cups pumpkin puree, 3 eggs, 1 cup heavy cream ( i used light bc the store was out of heavy and i didn’t think the difference would be too upsetting as no whipping was involved), 1/3 cup milk, prebaked and cooled deep-dish pie crust

1. first off, this recipe calls for a prebaked pie crust. so in order to do this, you must preheat your oven to 350°f. carefully place the dough in the pie plate.  make sure to push it down in the edges.  trim the dough to within 1/2 inch of the lip of the dish and then tuck the overhang underneath itself along the edge of the pie dish. at this point, i also like to attempt to make fancy little edges by using a fork, or smooshing with my finger. chill your pie crust for 30 mins and when it is sufficiently chilled, line the pie crust with parchment paper, wax paper, or aluminum foil. fill at least two-thirds full with pie weights, like dry beans.  as you can see in the photo, i used sushi rice that a former roommate left behind.  i don’t believe in waste. bake for 20 minutes, then remove from the oven, cool a few minutes and carefully remove the pie weights. poke small holes in the bottom of the pie crust with a fork and return to the oven (without the weights) and cook for an additional 10 minutes, until the crust is golden. cool completely before filling.

2. now for the filling: preheat oven to 375°f.

3. in a bowl, whisk together the brown sugar, cornstarch, salt, cinnamin, ginger, nutmeg, and cloves.  add the pumpkin, eggs, cream, and milk, and whisk to combine.

i can’t decide if i think this looks super gross, or kinda cool…  i’m leaning towards the former.

looking much better, and less like kitty barf.  (why do i always have to go there?)

4. pour the filling into the piecrust and bake until the center is set- about 60 to 65 minutes.  cover the edges of the crust with aluminum foil after 30 minutes if they brown too quickly.

5. transfer the pie to a wire rack and let it cool completely–at least 2 hours–before serving.

pumpkin pie!  so good you won’t even care that it is out of season!  erm, hopefully…

coming up next: chocolate pecan pie

and you call yourself a blogger?

hello. i don’t know if you remember me, but i used to blog here about baking?  maybe ringing a bell? slowly registering? the haze begins to clear?  so, as it turns out, i didn’t drop off the face of the planet and/or die. nope. i just totally suck. and i feel like crap about it. ok? im sorry. i said it.

but like the governator once said in an amazing and slightly silly accent: i’ll be back!

a sneak peek at what the future holds:

we travel back in time… all the way to november. for pies.